CHARLESTON AIR FORCE BASE, S.C. –
Bob "Rainbow" Trout hooked the Week 1 crown spawning an impressive 13-3 mark. Trout swam past Ron "Pats Fan" Desautels, who was 12-4, and Jeffrey "Bucs Fan" Lucas and the incredible Swami who were both a very respectable 11-5.
Week 1 closed with many notable events. Tom Brady requires season-ending knee surgery making it really tough for the Pats to continue their string of Super Bowl runs. Brett Favre piloted the Jets into the win column while, in Green Bay, the Aaron Rogers era began in winning fashion.
My first "stink out loud" award winner of the year is the St. Louis "Clams" who were totally demolished by the high-soaring Eagles. The Chargers, Jags, Colts and Seahawks were victims of upsets earning them all a 0-1 start.
I will now announce the first "cellar dweller dunce cap" award recipient of the year, Jeffrey Stockdale, who is now automatically enrolled in my world-famous Football 101 seminar!
There have been a few problems with the official e-mail address for entrants, so I have fired my information technology guy and personally had Bill Gates flown in to correct the problem. Please use 437MXS.Swami@charleston.af.mil and your entries will arrive safely.
Now, without any further delay, I present to you my Week 3 stone-cold, steel pipe, bet-your-economic-stimulus-check, world-famous, fearless, guaranteed-winning predictions:
Sunday, Sept. 21
Kansas City at Atlanta
Oakland at Buffalo
Tampa Bay at Chicago
Carolina at Minnesota
Miami at New England
Cincinnati at N.Y. Giants
Houston at Tennessee
Arizona at Washington
New Orleans at Denver
Detroit at San Francisco
St. Louis at Seattle
Cleveland at Baltimore
Jacksonville at Indianapolis
Pittsburgh at Philadelphia
Dallas at Green Bay
Monday, Sept. 22
N.Y. Jets at San Diego 48