JOINT BASE CHARLESTON, S.C. –
A rich life is about choosing wisely. We all make life-changing choices every day when confronted with difficult or easy situations. Specifically, every situation you confront will transport you to three places: the inner Civil War, the Moment of Truth and the Fork in the Road. I know you and I have been in these places.
Can you go back in your mind to a time where you faced a difficult situation? Maybe it was not a difficult situation, but perhaps it was all about acting on a personal conviction. Did you hesitate? If you did, why did you? Understanding these three places will help you achieve balance, discover who you are and who you want to be. Let's explore these places through a personal example.
Inner Civil War
On a recent deployment, the installation commander charged the senior noncommissioned officers with fixing a grave problem we had with appearance standards. (Have you ever been in a place where you thought, everyone, and I mean everyone, forgot about Air Force standards? That's how I felt in this particular place.) I remember making so many corrections; I could not walk two feet without having to stop someone for some infraction. By the way, in many of these corrections, Airmen would look at me like I was extraterrestrial ... how could that be?! One Saturday night I decided I was tired of making corrections and dealing with the pain of the confrontation process.
On Sunday morning I got up and went to pickup my laundry. An Airman was standing in line, inside the facility with his glasses on and in PT gear. My "Inner Civil War" began. I went through a series of questions in my head: "What should I do? Should I confront this person?" I really did not want to. Remember, I was tired! But inside of me was this giant telling me to act. I knew it was the right thing to do. After several minutes in line, the giant in me won my Inner Civil War; I confronted the person. The person stared at me very seriously, and without saying a word, slowly took his glasses off.
The Moment of Truth
Although the above example was a simple one, it reflects several things. First, we all go through these struggles in finding balance. In the Air Force, we call this balance "Integrity." Integrity is about striking a balance between what I know is right, and what I do - actually doing it! Achieving integrity gives us peace, as we conquer our inner "Civil Wars." The example also reflects one more thing: Moments of Truth. Those moments become self-discoveries. We truthfully see if we have courage and if we are living personal core values. It was in that moment just described where I discovered living a life of freedom was more important than being popular. In that moment I also discovered that I would not give up doing the right thing for the sake of someone else's comfort. I further discovered I had fiber and a giant lived in me.
What kind of fiber are you made out of? We exercise our will every day in small and big things, but if we cannot discipline ourselves to do the right thing in small things, how will we tackle the big things? We simply cannot. What you do during those moments of truth is important. See what you do. Do you postpone tough decisions? Do you seek advice, search within you, and once you find the truth, do you act on it?
The Fork
Truthfully, I cannot illustrate this place call "The Fork" better than our great American hero and father of the F-16, Col. John Boyd, so I will let him illustrate.
Colonel Boyd, please....the floor is yours.
Certainly chief! The fork is a metaphor. This is the time in decision-making where you can decide to go the easy way for the sake of becoming popular or the tough way, risking becoming unpopular but making a contribution and doing the right thing.
Let me explain further for you and the chief. "One day you will come to a fork in the road. You're going to have to make a decision about which direction you want to go. If you go one way, you can be 'somebody.' You'll have to make compromises and you'll have to turn your back on your friends. But you'll be a member of the club and you will get promoted and get good assignments. Or you can go the other way and you can do something - something for your country and for your Air Force and for yourself ... If you decide to do something, you may not get promoted and you may not get good assignments and you certainly won't be a favorite. But you won't have to compromise yourself ... to be 'somebody' or to do something. In life there is often a roll call. That's when you have to make a decision. To be or to do?" - Col. John Boyd
Thank you Colonel Boyd!
My friends, I have given you lots to think about. The fork in the street is your last chance in every easy or difficult situation you will face. Whatever path you take, remember that there are personal and social (team) consequences. If an inspection needed completion and you skipped it to be with your friends (the easy way in the fork), then the mission has been compromised. If you were tough when you needed to be tough (the unpopular way of the fork), then you may have ended up saving a life now or in the future.
Explore these three places. Conquer your inner Civil War through finding integrity. In the moment of truth, discover who you are and want to become. And when you find yourself at the fork in the street, exercise your will to do the right thing. You owe it to yourself and your "fan club"!