CHARLESTON AIR FORCE BASE, S.C. –
According to the South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, there are approximately 8.8 million children in the U.S. at risk for exposure to domestic violence every year.
Exposure includes seeing or hearing the actual abuse, as well as witnessing the after effects of the abuse, such as the holes in walls or the bruises on the victim. Exposure can have a profound effect on a child's growth and development, especially if the child is exposed repeatedly.
Children living in homes where domestic violence takes place are under greater stress, much like the adults around them. Unfortunately, childhood stress is often overlooked or mistaken for other common illnesses such as an attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, behavior disorder and anxiety. This often leads to misdiagnosis and mistreatment.
Younger children do not understand what is happening and will blame themselves. Believing they did something to cause the fight, they may feel nervous, confused, shameful and attempt to "be good" to end the fighting.
Often their reactions will look like anxiety or hyperactivity as a result. They may resort to bed-wetting, thumb-sucking and baby talk. They may also have nightmares or separation anxiety. Their symptoms may come out in physical complaints such as headaches or "tummy" aches.
Also, children raised in violent homes tend to be socially withdrawn. If the child is anxious and worried about what is going on at home, they cannot take the time to make and keep friends. Peer interaction is critical for forming social skills and building attachments. As a teenager, ten years later, the adolescent may be even more socially awkward than normal because he or she did not learn the skills it takes to socialize.
Older children have a better understanding of adult relationships, but may react somewhat the same as younger children after exposure to domestic violence for different reasons. They may also experience separation anxiety, nervousness, confusion and nightmares, but out of worry for the safety of their parent. They may have trouble concentrating and staying focused, causing problems with schoolwork.
Irritability, aggression, lying, bullying and defiance are also common due to an inability to control the situation at home. Therefore, behavior problems and poor school performance can be an issue with children exposed to domestic violence.
As they grow older and the violence continues, the problems compound. Research shows teenagers raised in violent homes are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, run away from home and engage in violent relationships, as well as sexual assault. As adults, the same children are more likely to experience low self-esteem, depression and develop violent relationships themselves, as either the victim or the batterer. It is estimated that boys raised in violent homes are 10 times more likely to batter than those raised in calmer, non-violent homes.
For children who have been exposed to domestic violence, recovery is possible. Children are resilient, and with help and guidance, they can overcome the effects of exposure to violence. Families can rebuild trust and stability. The first step is to end the exposure by seeking help. For assistance in beginning the healing process, contact Family Advocacy at 963-6972.