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NEWS | Nov. 18, 2009

Amidon cruises to victory, ‘Pats Fan’ remains hot

By The Swami Football Guru

Gerald "Whooooo, just having fun" Amidon had the hot-hand reeling of an impressive 13-2 record to hoist the prestigious Swami Cup this week. Gerald's closest competition came from Ron "Pats Fan" Desautels who put together a very nice 11-4 mark.

This week's "stink out loud" winner is the Cleveland "Clowns" led by Dr. Brady Quinn "Medicine Woman" who laid an egg in front of a national Monday Night Football audience.

A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm who is wearing a Browns jersey, helmet and pompoms. The bartender says "no pets allowed," but changes his mind once reassured the dog will behave.

The Browns receive the kickoff and march down to the 30 yard line and kick a field goal. With that, the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five. The bartender says, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does he do if they score a touchdown?"

"I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years."

In other action, the Saints and Colts remained undefeated, the Steelers and Cowboys fell and the Washington "Deadskins" somehow slipped by the Broncos. Do you know what the Redskins and birthday candles have in common? They get blown out on the same day every year!

My "cellar dweller dunce cap" award this week belongs to Robert "Tree Daddy" Greenwood with his 6-9 record, who apparently fell out of a tree landing on his melon moments before submitting his picks.

The Swami Cup is getting very close. Be sure to check next week's award winning article for an updated Top 10. Now without further delay, I deliver my stone cold, steel pipe, fearless, liquidate your GI Bill, guaranteed winning predictions. Please send your picks to 437mxs.swami@charleston.af.mil.

Thursday, Nov. 26
Time (EST)      Visiting Team                      Home Team
12:30 p.m.       Green Bay Packers            Detroit Lions
4:15 p.m.         Oakland Raiders                  Dallas Cowboys
8:20 p.m.         New York Giants                  Denver Broncos

Sunday, Nov. 29
Time (EST)      Visiting Team                      Home Team
1 p.m.                Tampa Bay Buccaneers   Atlanta Falcons
1 p.m.                Miami Dolphins                  Buffalo Bills
1 p.m.                Cleveland Browns             Cincinnati Bengals
1 p.m.                Indianapolis Colts             Houston Texans
1 p.m.               Carolina Panthers              New York Jets
1 p.m.               Washington Redskins       Philadelphia Eagles
1 p.m.               Seattle Seahawks              St. Louis Rams
1 p.m.               Arizona Cardinals               Tennessee Titans
4:05 p.m.         Kansas City Chiefs            San Diego Chargers
4:05 p.m.        Jacksonville Jaguars          San Francisco 49ers
4:15 p.m.        Chicago Bears                     Minnesota Vikings
8:20 p.m.        Pittsburgh Steelers             Baltimore Ravens

Monday, Nov. 30
Time (EST)      Visiting Team                     Home Team
8:30 p.m.         New England Patriots       New Orleans Saints